Three more days off before another year of toil begins. And I have barely begun
half a quarter of what I had planned to do! Where has a week gone?
My wallet came home in an envelope. At least whoever took the banknotes had the grace to leave untouched my 12-year-old pub receipts and the scribbled telephone numbers of miscellaneous ex-
Notwithstanding the monkey's protests, I shall begin lesson one.
Saya = I (formal)
Awak = You (formal)
Aku = I (informal)
Engkau/Kau = you (informal)
Gua = I (Bahasa pasar)
Lu (corruption of you) = You (Bahasa pasar)
Saya mahu pergi kencing/buang air besar (I want to go pee/poo.)
Di mana tandas? (Where's the loo?)
Kenapa jamban ini tidak ada kertas dan air? (Why does this toilet lack paper and water?)
Tolong! Tolong! Saya terjatuh ke dalam lobang di tandas! (Help! Help! I fell into the toilet hole!)
How to introduce yourself:
Selamat pagi! Saya monyet kecil yang berbising. (Good morning! I am a little noisy monkey.)
Saya suka memanjat pokok dan lompak ke sana sini. (I like to climb trees and jump around.)
A little Malay boy also once taught me some monkey
tricks taxonomy. The long-tailed macaques found throughout the peninsula are generally known as 'kera'. Arboreal, folivorous species are referred to as 'monyet' while the pig-tailed macaque which some folks employ to pluck coconuts is the 'beruk' (This Wikipedia article shows a very strange picture though – but it helps to prove my suspicion that some monkeys are well-feathered).
The monkey should also memorise the following phrase by heart:
"Saya suka itik. Itik adalah haiwan yang cerdik dan gagah, walaupun dia tidak boleh berenang." Translating this will be monkey's first homework assignment.