Take good care of your
monkey duck or you may lose it! Always wear a rubber ducky!
I get the idea that quite a number of people
don't really like to use search engines for some reason. Maybe it's too
efficient and coldly impersonal compared to bugging a fellow human
being and then waiting long long for answers that beg further questions.
Well, here's a search engine that does away with the ruthless speed and instant pages of responses generated by heartless algorithms, and instead offers a much more human interface. Introducing Ms Dewey! She’s slow, annoying, pouty, tells lame jokes and seems on the verge of a hissy fit. Leave her alone for too long and she'll attempt to fish something out of you, or you might just return to find her in a private state of semi-dishevelment. I understand her dream is to rule the world (not surprising given who's her goddaddy) and when you are not looking, she
plays with her pussy fixes superbikes and blows up hapless software engineers...
If you are lucky, Ms Dewey may even pull out her silicon sealant gun for a little squirting fun. Or a horsewhip. Or show you where she was conceived. Typing in suggestive search parameters, however, may result in a librarianish telling off ("There are farm animals who'd not do that kind of thing, and you think I would?" she tongue-lashed my duck in response to an imperative solicitician towards a barnyard pasttime – to another query, she glared, "I'm sure you can get arrested in 38 countries for just thinking something like that!"), which might be not unwelcome if this is your idea of a virtual wet dream. Try asking if how old is she or proposing...