During junior college, I stayed in a reputable house of lodging in a neighbourhood of esteemed residents. The bulk of dwellers in the facility were boys from a nearby institution who were indistinguishable from one another thanks to tight crew cuts and a near universal proclivity for table tennis, badminton and rather less wholesome fits of regiment.

Thankfully, college students were exempt from the regime imposed by the hostel on secondary schoolers, which included, among other things, a dedicated bout of hardcore mugging in halls built for that purpose every evening after dinner for a designated number of hours, usually half past seven to about half past nine. All activity was to cease by ten, and grumpy superintendents would patrol the corridors to ensure that each room has no more or no less than its assigned pair.

The gates closed at half past ten. A sour guard would harangue students who returned late, regardless of whether it was from a movie or a particularly long bout in the school library or sports hall. Written permission was needed for breaking the curfew but in practice, how does one apply for such a right when every day is a surprise? And many such days plagued those restless years. Some kind of punishment in the form of back-by-seven-no-go-out detention periods were applicable and I know a few who endured this measure of discipline. Some took to climbing over unguarded portions of the fencing around the premises. As for me, I argued with sullen hallmasters who appeared unable to comprehend why decent boys would have to stay out anywhere past ten.

Why do I remember this silly bit of life from a mere two years of blind enthusiasm? Why do I feel as caged as ever in a larger hall of residence? There are no curfews now; merely invisible markers that when breached erupt to break your heart and drown your fury in despair. There is stability in structure, but also a stifling cloud of untoward visions. I cannot see beyond this fog; it clings and clamps the soul down, far and away from the hope of higher peaks and unbound paths.