The annotated budak

Shrewed

Thereby hangs a wee creature with mousy fur and fat-lined tail. It scuttled busily through the litter by Sungei Road after midnight, snout atwitch and stubby legs atwat. At times, the pattering feet overshot their mark and landed their lord on the sidewalk, where the thuds of a thundering duck sent them back into a narrow corridor of grass and plastic. A common prowler of drains and waysides in the city, the house shrew is usually mistaken for a rodent. But it is far worse. Built to punch above its weight, the little beast is a ferocious hunter of any- and everything it can get its jaws into, from snakes and lizards to roaches and rats, which they dispose of with a lusty bite in the neck followed by a jugular shake. But unlike retrenched workers, shrews are not fussy eaters and readily gobble their way through the waste of human scum. And if you should ever find yourself trapped in a corner with one of these monsters, it's said that peanut butter is an acceptable substitute for manflesh.

Given adequate peace offerings, house shrews could plausibly make wonderful housemates for humans, given their similarly-thorough dedication to eliminating all other lifeforms that come within their reach. Unlike ducks and other domestic fowl, however, shrews are no fans of intimate contact and will cry blue murder with hideous shrieks and unearthly screams even when they are chastely handled. They also stink due to musky secretions from a gland near their backside and resolutely refuse to shower, but this drawback might prove irrelevant for some. Less happily, their bite is said to result in painful swellings that could result in social ostracisation as polite society is wont to judge victims rather than perpetuators for misdeeds upon the former. By now, it's clear that shrews rightly earn their Elizabethan reputation for contributing to the downfall of decent ducks. For their temper is such that my duck is happy to compromise his principles and refuse to poke these squeaky bundles, and actually considered stripping off his shirt to cushion the impact of capturing one of these creatures for inspection without having to go closer and risk the pain of the biting truth on thin egos.

For reasons beyond my control or imagination, it is nigh impossible to read or doze in a taxi without being taken for a ride. For taxi drivers of all marques and moods can be reliably depended upon to forget precise instructions in their mother tongue on the exact route to one's destination, veer off at a vital juncture while one's eyes are averted or aslumber and thereafter insist that their chosen road offers the sharpest beeline between your room and mine. It's a fare not worth arguing over.

Treehugger

The huntsmen that prowl on the surface of large trees tend to be rather less dully-patterned than those found on walls, although there are always exceptions. With sprawled legs that evoke thoughts of soft and shuddery sensations on naked skin, these large spiders navigate the circumference of buttressed trunks to silence the songs of cicadas and katydids. Faced with threats of a higher order, they sidestep frontal approaches with lighting dashes that frustrate seekers with fewer and less fleet feet. This huntress, however, was stunned to stony stillness by the awkward sight of my duck attempting to freeze her features while standing on tip-toe. Perhaps she was hoping for a scene of unbalanced tumbling followed by the lamentable squeals of a bird made lame.

Cocked

Some birds are there for the taking. Others require a little more patience than a bellyfull of frogs.

Pests

Some pesky creatures can simply be whacked. Others, notably the bipedal sort, keep coming back despite repeated smackings by my duck. Rendered birdbrained by foul obsessions, these gunners miss the forest for the fowl and seem to feed on each other's fervour and the pervasive need to frame perfection without regard for the integrity of habitats and life's fragile webs.

Salticid stare

Jumping spiders have this annoying habit of turning around to face my duck and making rude gestures with their legs and palps before leaping right onto the hood to tour the facilities. Fortunately, when they reach my arm, the longish hairs and sweaty follicles make it hard for them to navigate and they wisely give up or succumb to the stench.